Walter-Ostlie on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/walter-ostlie/art/Page-1-for-Contest-128423296Walter-Ostlie

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Page 1 for Contest

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So this is the first page I did for the contest I mentioned in my journal.

Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

My main thing is that it is hard to tell what is going on. I think maybe because I have the shots pulled back so far or maybe bad inking technique? Any ideas?
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Abt-Nihil's avatar
I think the sequence itself is great, what needs a little work is directing the reader's attention in the 1st, 2nd and 3rd panel.

My suggestions would be (and please take these with a grain of salt, I don't consider myself your superior in any way :P):

1st panel:
The persons in the foreground at the lake need our attention! The most direct way to achieve this would be giving them more space: Like having the water clear up near the bottom, thus framing the man on the boat better. Similar with the stones on the path to the left. You might also create a reflection in the water, as well as a shadow on the path as a means to create contrast (always drawing attention) and "arrow" directing the attention to the protagonists.

2nd panel:
The female detective in the foreground blends too much into the background. Increase lineweight in the foreground so the background seems lighter, hazier - creating space between foreground and background.

3rd panel:
I would suggest some heavy blacks as shadows on the protagonists, as well as framing them with some hatching (which might either start below the trees and gradually lighten up toward the characters, or indicate leaves on the trees).

The 4th & 5th panel work very well!

Hope this helps.